What type of questions to ask in negotiations

Hello. Hello, you're listening to power banking the podcast for women leaders in male-dominated Industries. I'm your host Jacqueline Twillie president at [company] dotco and best-selling author of two books. My latest book is titled. Don't leave money on the table.

Let's hop into today's episode. I have to give a listener. Shout out to Karen who sent a message after listening to our last episode on questions. And she asks that I go a little bit deeper. Karen said Jacqueline.

I've always thought people who asked a ton of questions were unprepared or just nosy but after listening to this episode, I need more skills on questioning. Can you give us more? Yes. Yes, and yes, I love when I receive feedback from you. Also.

Thank you, Karen for reaching out. So I'm going a little bit deeper on question. So we're going to call this part 2 on Y and questions are important, as a leader for problem, solving, for conflict resolution and especially in everyday negotiations. So remember when we talked about negotiation on this podcast, negotiation is a conversation. It's not a battle.

So looking through that. Lens, we operate off of a five-part framework to set up, a good negotiation strategy and we call that the lot a framework l-look a anticipate T. Think the second T talk and E evaluate. So as we go through that five-part framework and we look at the details part of what we're doing in our detail and anticipating the challenge. Those two steps.

One of the things we discussed in our last episode, is the timing of questions the sequence in which you present questions. So I want to go a step further on when to ask questions and give you a broader perspective of when you should consider, presenting your questions to the counterpart. And when we talk about counterpart, it's just the other person that you're negotiating with. So when is it helpful to X questions during Negotiation, the time to do this, is when you're seeking to gain information, information is power. The more, you know, the better informed decisions you can make.

So, try to avoid making assumptions when you're negotiating, when you don't have all of the information, ask a question to fill in the Gap, try to do as much research as you can using your network using online tools. Eels leveraging people within your organization, but when you are in doubt don't just make the Assumption create a question so that you can gain that information. Another time that it's appropriate to X questions is to check for understanding. And so what that means is if you need to uncover how this person their knowledge level on the topic that you're negotiating about, simply presents a question to them if you want to see.

If they're engaged in the conversation, if they're committed to doing whatever is in that conversation, for example, if you are selling your car to and you're selling it independently, you're not going through like a dealership or something like that. You might get a lot of requests. If you put a listing online and say, hey, I'm selling my car. Some people might just contact you out of curiosity. They might be bored and have nothing else to do.

So in that case, you would ask questions to gauge their interest. First level and to check for understanding. So one, you're going to ask them. How long have you been looking for a car? What are you looking to make the purchase that will give you insight into when that person is looking to make a decision and you can weed out if someone is serious or not.

When you're checking for an understanding you might ask someone. Okay. So based on what we just discussed. What do you think about that and that gives you the opportunity to find out if you're on the same page? H, in terms of if they're receiving, what you're communicating.

The next time the next situation in which you would consider presenting. A question is if you're trying to gain their participation in the conversation, so when you ask questions, you encourage the other party to talk to you. Communication is a two-way street. So this makes your counterpart like, you better because it seems like you are engaged in your paying attention. That's something we mentioned in our previous episode.

Is that that A trust-building factor, when you're asking those follow-up questions. It shows that you are engaged in the conversation and you want to learn more about the other party. So, when you're seeking their participation, it's also helpful to get your counterpart to talk. When you realize you've said something that they may not agree with or they don't understand. So, if you notice a change in their tone of voice or their body language, that's a good time to present a question to get them back, engage in the conversation.

Ation, if you have a chance to talk it out, you will walk away from that conversation better off than if you notice that change of tone or that change of body language and you decided oh, you know what? I wonder what I said, or I wonder what I did and you get in your own head. If you're in the conversation and that happens just address it right away. So ask a question in that way in that manner. Now the next example, if you're trying To give information.

For instance. Sometimes you may want to provide information to help the person you're negotiating with understand what your intentions are. You could ask them. Did you know, x y z. So that's a way to give them information.

It's a question, but it's a rhetorical question. You're not seeking a true answer. You're just presenting information in a question format. So by doing this, this type of question can be used when you're trying to see if the other person recognizes the type of information that you're sharing is one way to gauge their knowledge level on the subject, not to take advantage of them, but this can be an opportunity to engage them because if they don't understand what you're talking about, the chances of you coming to an agreement decrease, so if you present a question, like did you know that and you present that XYZ then in that situation, you have an opportunity to?

And to understand their knowledge base. Now when you're looking to bring your conversation back on track conversations, naturally drift away. So when you want to bring it back to the subject at hand, you can say can we get back to x y z and that is a prime question to get things back on track. Sometimes we overthink it y'all. Sometimes we get to a point where We're we're like, well, how do I say this?

And how do I phrase that? And it's just the basic communication skills that we have those phrases. And terms that we think. Oh, that's too Elementary are. It's too basic.

I need to be more sophisticated or I need to use elevated format. Sometimes that's not necessary. There are cases when it's appropriate to be elaborate in your questions. But in a lot of situations we can communicate like we're having a face-to-face conversation again. It is a conversation.

It's not a battle. It's all about problem solving. It's all about reaching a resolution. So with that in mind, if you're trying to get back on track, the line to use is, can we get back to XYZ issue when you're seeking to reach an agreement asking questions can help you find out how far apart you are from your counterpart in terms of you want this and they want that. So, present a question.

Kitchen to find out where they are in terms of where they can meet you have way. I operate from the philosophy of win-win, you can negotiate and both parties can feel like they've won. I actually prefer that method because in business and in our personal lives, we're doing business with people long term. So the win-lose approach you might win this time, but what are the chances that that person will do business with you again? And what are the chances that there?

Not going to share that experience with someone else in your industry that has a lasting impact. So, definitely be mindful of that. Now, when you're seeking to reduce tension conflict, resolution problem, solving here, when you're seeking to reduce tension, if a negotiation begins to get really tense, it can be helpful to ask questions about the other person's Viewpoint. So go in with the frame of mind that you're trying to stand his or her concerns so that you can restructure the negotiation. As an example.

You might say something. Like, every time we talk about XYZ you seem to be adamantly opposed. Can you share a little bit more about that? And so when you present a question in that manner, it allows for that person to open up and share more with you. And so, what that does is it expands the conversation, you're able Understand where they're coming from.

And if there was any type of miscommunication or misunderstanding, you can clarify it in that moment. So, there are two main types of questions. We talked about this before, but it's important for us to go back to that, because we mentioned so many questions today. There are open-ended questions and closed-ended questions, closed-ended questions can be answered with a short answer, like yes or no, those are restrictive questions. And this type of Question, it really directs the conversation towards a perceived answer that you may want.

And as I said last time this kind of introduce bias into your conversation, so you want to avoid as much bias as possible because sometimes bias is formed off of assumptions. And as we said earlier, one of the primary methods of using questions, the primary driver for questions is to get an understanding, not to present our assumptions. So try to steer away from closed-ended questions because those questions can restrict the conversation now, open ended questions. Those are the questions that will give you a broader answer. This is a more expansive question and you're not leading that person anyway, and you're not injecting as much bias into your questions when they're open-ended.

So a typical open ended question is, how do you feel about Out XYZ are, what seems to be the biggest problem with this? Those are open-ended questions. They allow for a more expansive answer and you're not guiding the conversation at that point. So you're more likely to understand the other person's Viewpoint. Now, as we wrap up a couple of things to remember, you have to have a plan.

That's why you use the latte method. When you're negotiating. It is helpful to have a goal in mind and that's Chu, do you set your goal in the look stage? When you're looking at the details you want to be aware of why you're coming into this conversation? What do you want to achieve?

And then also along with that set, the framework to understand what type of information will help you make a good decision. I've said this several times but it's so important. So that's why I keep repeating it. Information is power the more, you know, the better. ER informed decisions you can make.

So going in with a questioning plan, put you in the driver's seat of negotiation because you're seeking to get that information. That will be helpful in helping you to reach that win-win solution. The second thing in looking at the details and anticipating, the challenges is that you want to understand the person you're negotiating with the more, you know about that person. The better you can frame your questions, so think about Finality Styles, if you understand this person's disc Profile assessment your battle, better able to determine your questions. Now, keep in mind, people are they're not just monolithic, right?

People have different levels to them. So the way you present a question to someone today might change six months from now or two years from now as people grow and expand in their own personal and professional development. You may have to shift your questions, especially if you're negotiating with them. Are you're working with them in a long-term basis. Another thing to keep in mind is that you want to move from broad questions to narrow questions.

So as you start asking questions, that yield more specific information, as you go throughout the conversation, try to get as much specific information as possible. So that you avoid making assumptions. Now time. Meaning the timing of your questions. Matter again.

We're not trying to be creepy here. So be sensitive to the other person's feelings. Let me give you an example. If you knew that someone was on a diet and you're out with them for dinner and they're eating dessert. It is not a good time, to ask them how their diet is going.

It's just not good timing. Similarly. If you know that someone had a blowout on the way to work in the Morning, and you have a meeting with them. And you're going into this next level of negotiation. It might not be the best time, you know, a blowout tire is very nerve-wracking, it can cause a lot of stress in a person's life.

So if you notice that the timing is bad, do what you can to postpone that conversation to a later time. And so if you don't ask you're not going to get the information. So present the question going back to brene Brown. Choose discomfort over resentment. So again Karen, thank you for your question today for the podcast.

I love hearing from you all. I'm glad to know that I've been able to help you expand your view on the power of questions in your leadership, as well as problem solving conflict resolution and Leadership. And so if you have additional questions, hop into the power banking, Facebook group, that's where we continue the conversation from these episodes. Until next time, continue to emulate, excellence and eliminate excuses.